Background

I was born on 3rd of September 1959 in Guisborough North York's and lived in Gosforth, Newcastle Upon Tyne during my school years. I did the Art Foundation Course at Newcastle College of Art and Technology, after this I got a place at Bradford to do a three year degree course. After gaining my degree I worked as a volunteer with Barnardo's and a Conservation Trust. Over the next few years I had anxiety and became homeless, I was seen by a Psychiatrist and The Benefits Agency stopped paying me, after this I was hospitalized. I had no food or money, was isolated, suffered paranoia and a gap of not knowing, as I had no home to return to because of a family break up. During 1983 I was transferred to Ailsa Psychiatric Hospital in Ayr to be near family. I got involved in Art Therapy and since then developed an interest in drawing, painting and design. I have exhibited at the Harbour Arts Centre, Irvine, The Ayr Hospital and The Dick Institute, Kilmarnock. I also attend Brushstrokes Art Club in Ayr.

Anxiety 1982

I was subjected to a regime of drugs and wasn't given any counselling. Twelve years of depixol injections that caused me sciatica, blood poisoning, bowel pain and a lump on my testicles. Doctors appointments, crisis care, Benefits wrangle and council house waiting list. The treatment seemed worse than the illness, the prospect of such made me ill. Surely I needed information not medication. I have gradually found out what I needed to know by self analysis and help from other patients. Only now, after thirty years, am I on the right tablets. All in all I have spent much time confronting the past to bring myself up to the present. Although I feel Culture and the Arts exploit mental illness, it has given me a view point and possibilities. I feel inspired enough to carry on my work.

(Although I am disgusted at my treatment and think it is a damn disgrace. Whatever happened to sympathy and understanding instead of coldness and disdain).

Origins of My Artwork

Previous to 2014 I gave myself drawing and painting exercises as a way of discovering ideas and developing projects, this included some life drawings and abstract work. With regards to my illness I am in no doubt that my lack of upbringing and emotional care caused me severe mental health problems. I often think about this and wonder about the sort of treatment I have received. This makes me angry and critical of health services. Many years ago advice and counselling would have gone a long way in setting me on the right path to a healthier, happier life instead of the mental and physical abuse as well as drugs. Much of this awareness influences my thinking on subjects such as the relationship of Art, Freud, Analysis and Expression, whether I like it or not. I have spent much time confronting anxieties “Drawing From Sexual Instabilities And Mental Illness” (project work). Sketching, drawing and painting is helping me to explore, define and redefine ideas I have in visual art and whether they have much in common with my anxieties or not. They may be rooted in anger or angst (‘fuck the doctors’) but become something in relation to a variety of influences as ideas lead to something or not. Doing Posters was a reaction to the Poster as was Boundaries a way of dealing with impasse or searching for material, having references in practice to automatic drawing, surrealism and abstract expressionism. The paintings are researches and sometimes form the basis of a Drawing.

Something to consider

Awareness of problems that lead to mental illness / Hope, understanding and progress instead of intransigence and stigma / Break down barriers to better understanding / Importance of family, school and social life, consideration, thought, commitment / Strategies of coping: that is reminding myself every day in a conscious effort to recall important events / NB: I couldnt find a way around my severe mental illness at the time (Some thirty years ago). It seems to be something I had to go through to eventually find any answers in hindsight. Purpose of the website - To promote my artwork and raise awareness of mental health issues by telling my own story.

Steven Ridley Saturday 28h April 2018.